she's in my life

I had a convo on gchat with a friend just now and maybe it isn't the first time i mentioned e in a sentence, but it might be the first time i said it with real, true, acknowledgement, of her future existence in the life i live, to my heart.


me:
haha--i didn't even think about that...it's true.  tori could find the boy of her dreams and throw porter in the ditch...emma might be our second chance.


it's a little romantic because when she comes it will feel full of tired, and all those other negative emotions, but there are those MANY times a day when you do get that slow motion feeling with how beautiful your kid is and how much your life would have much less smiles if they weren't there, and e will double those smiles and slow motions each day.


and i think emma is a beautiful name.  i used to write the word "swimming" in cursive over and over because i thought it was beautiful with all the round loops & how there were no d's or h's to change the uniformity except for the pretty little bottom loop for the g at the end.  now i get one that's uniform all the way through, and even has a letter there at the beginning that could be a baby L (this is how i feel about L's...).